Before You Die – Read This…

My Grandma died when she was 97. I interviewed her on video a year before she died and I asked her all about her life.

One of the things I love about my Grandma is that she lived life to the full and she had a life of great adventure.

In her twenties she left England on her own (by boat) to be a missionary in Egypt. She spent 16 years in Egypt, married my Australian Grandpa and had four children there. She recounted stories of riding on the back on my Grandpa’s motorbike in the desert, riding camels, visiting wonderful sights and the golden age of travel by ship and train.

When they were in their fifties, my Grandma and Grandpa went to the Middle East and Palestine and worked with people in need. Later in life after my Grandpa died, my Grandma ran a hostel in Jerusalem in her eighties.

When I interviewed her, she looked back on a life of adventure, excitement and happy memories. Even though I asked a lot of probing questions, she had no regrets about the way she had lived her life.

Sadly, many people do not live the way my Grandma lived…

The unfortunate fact is, many people at the end of their life have serious regrets about what they did in their life, and in some cases more importantly what they did NOT do.

WE must learn from people who have end of life regrets, to ensure we do not make the same mistakes and have the same regrets.

Watch this short video, or read the text below:

Researchers who have studied and interviewed people at the end of their life report nine common regrets:

1. Did not take a leap of faith.

When you get the opportunity ensure that you DO take a leap of faith.

2. Did not have the courage to live a life true to myself.

Do NOT live someone else’s dream. Live true to your dreams.

3. Worked too hard.

Don’t fall into this all too common trap – life is for living!

4. Did not have the courage to express how I really felt.

Take a deep breath and tell those closest to you how you really feel.

5. Did not say what I needed to say.

Take another deep breath and tell those closest to you what you really need to say.

6. Did not forgive.

Forgive those who have wronged you. This does not mean that what they did was okay, it just means you let your anger go.

7. Did not stay in touch with friends.

Keep in touch and keep in contact. Send an email or a card. Good friends are a rare commodity.

8. Did not let myself be happier.

Happiness is a choice! Wake up every morning and decide to be happy and joyful!

9. Did not live a life of Faith.

Connection with God is a key part of a full life. Do not neglect your spiritual life.

We really need to take a good close look at this list because these are end of life regrets that occur over and over again in the research. It is critical that WE do not get to the end of our lives and have the same regrets.

Tip #1 Learn

Make sure you learn these invaluable lessons NOW before you reach that stage of life. Don’t make the same mistakes.

Tip #2 Identify

Identify areas of your life where you have already made these mistakes or have these regrets. Put them right today. Pick up the phone, write a letter, or send an email – whatever you need to do.

Tip #3 Make a Plan

Make a plan to ensure you don’t fall into these regrets during your life. Ensure that the dream Lifestyle you visualize includes learning from the people who have made these mistakes so you don’t have to.

Yours for a Life Lived with No Regrets!

Oli Hille
Author
“Creating the Perfect Lifestyle”

www.LifestyleBook.com

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42 Comments »

  • Alan Carroll says:

    Thanks Ollie, some really thought invoking ideas here.

    • admin says:

      Thanks Alan! I appreciate your positive comment :)

      Oli

  • Diego-BR says:

    Awesome post Olie!

    Nice hear from you!
    hugs from Sao Paulo, Brazil

    Diego

    • admin says:

      Thanks Diego :)

  • Garth Tobler says:

    Thank you Ollie. You’ve given me good food for thought

    • admin says:

      Great Garth, it made me think about my life too!

  • Garth Tobler says:

    Thank you Ollie. Some of these I’m doing. You’ve reminded me to keep going, to be more consistent.

  • Great post. As I am now in my later years of life I realize just how important these things really are. I think when we are younger we don’t think about these things being very important to our life. When we get older things take on a whole new meaning.

    Thanks for this post. I hope that everyone will take your words to heart.

    • Oli Hille says:

      Thank you Elaine – it is great to get your perpective on this. Oli :)

  • Thank you Oli for summing up what many of us refuse to see.
    1)Life and lifestyle all has to do with the willingness to admit mistakes.
    2)Not knowing what we are doing, is one of the mistakes we are all making daily.
    3)The only thing we inherit from others are their habits, good or bad.
    4)It is up to us to learn, teach and preach the truths we should all know.
    Thank you for your wisdom and guidance.
    God has a plan for each one of us.
    Let us be healthy of Body Mind and Spirit and lead by example.
    Pierre William Trudel
    Thee Quest For Perfect Health

    • Oli Hille says:

      Thank you Pierre – that is a great summary and I agree with all of your points. Oli :)

  • enermazing says:

    When I got your newsletter I was a bit put off by the “sensational” ‘Must Read Before You Die” and half expected some sort of “hypnotic” squeeze page…

    I’m glad I clicked on the link anyway – Perfect title and great post, thank you :)

    The story of your grandmother reminded me of this poem by Constantine P. Cavafis:

    Ithaka

    When you set out for Ithaka
    ask that your way be long,
    full of adventure, full of instruction.
    The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
    angry Poseidon – do not fear them:
    such as these you will never find
    as long as your thought is lofty, as long as a rare
    emotion touch your spirit and your body.
    The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
    angry Poseidon – you will not meet them
    unless you carry them in your soul,
    unless your soul raise them up before you.

    Ask that your way be long.
    At many a Summer dawn to enter
    with what gratitude, what joy -
    ports seen for the first time;
    to stop at Phoenician trading centres,
    and to buy good merchandise,
    mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
    and sensuous perfumes of every kind,
    sensuous perfumes as lavishly as you can;
    to visit many Egyptian cities,
    to gather stores of knowledge from the learned.

    Have Ithaka always in your mind.
    Your arrival there is what you are destined for.
    But don’t in the least hurry the journey.
    Better it last for years,
    so that when you reach the island you are old,
    rich with all you have gained on the way,
    not expecting Ithaka to give you wealth.
    Ithaka gave you a splendid journey.
    Without her you would not have set out.
    She hasn’t anything else to give you.

    And if you find her poor, Ithaka hasn’t deceived you.
    So wise you have become, of such experience,
    that already you’ll have understood what these Ithakas mean.

    And else: If we want to find out what we’ll regret, we can always write our own eulogy – from the point of the deceased ;)

    Maria

    • Oli Hille says:

      Thank you Maria – I am really glad you clicked the link!

      And thank you for the poem.

      Oli :)

  • kate says:

    It always makes me shake my head when i hear these ‘you shoulds’ as though they are doable for everyone. your granma started in her 20′s to ‘live life’ im already pushing 60. she had a mate to venture off with. i am single–and i dont care what you say going ‘off’ to live your dream is scary and lonley as a single, in fact it kills ‘the dream’. live true to your dreams is the next cliche’ i dont even know for sure what my dreams are. i am too busy taking care of a sick father, dealing with pains of aging, financial issues, on and on. then you say happiness is a choice–when you have many issues surrounding your life that are painful–how can happiness be a choice. happiness just is or is not, based on your circumstance. that bull—- ‘today i will be happy’ and then your husband smacks you, or you loose your job, or you injure a body part–pain. but i will chooooose to be happy today. all you do is add pressure on things one cannot control and make them think they can. instead of giving all your ‘to do , should do’ list why dont you tell HOW to be happy when life is falling down around you. I mean the 1, 2, 3 steps the actual INSTRUCTIONS of HOW I am suppose to choooose this happiness. I want to be happy of course so I am waiting for the RECIPIE of HOW to go about it since you said it is simply up to me.

    • Oli Hille says:

      Hi Kate

      You are right that life is not always simple and easy. We all have challenges and obstacles. I have tried in my upcoming book to outline what I have experienced to be the “Recipe” for happiness and success.

      I wish you every happiness and success in your life.

      Oli

  • Hanna says:

    Dear Oil,
    Thanks a million for your great ideas.
    I’ll keep on workin upon these ideas . I especially like a quote “Take another deep breath and tell those closest to you what you really need to say.”

  • Thanxs Oli, I refrased the title though into

    If you really want to live, not merely survive
    And

    there is one question or warning:

    If you have NONE of those regrets,
    do not despair
    Life is not over.

    It is only just beginning!!

    Thanks for the inspiration!

  • MANDI says:

    THIS IS ALL TOO TRUE OLI, AND I THANK YOU FOR THIS REMINDER OF HOW FAST LIFE CAN FLY BY AND HOW IMPORTANT OUR USE OF THAT TIME IS!!! YOUR THE BEST!!!! : )

  • Tell says:

    The comment by Kate resonated with me and could be described as “as a smack in the eye with a wet fish”. I’m not saying that things in the life cannot be changed, but certainly not by everybody. In this world there are certain statistical models that apply across all sorts of social, educational and class structures. The vast majority of these people don’t make the cut. Consider the son of the well-to-do family with connections. At seventy years of age I have seen many of these spongers enjoy a rich and happy life inspite of the fotunes they have squandered and lost. I have seen upright, hard-working, thrifty people get absolutely nowhere, inspite of their undoubted intelligence and often brilliant ideas.
    For many of us like Kate to make the change from this shore to the other or to get across the chasm we need someone to be a hands on mentor. Not just trotting out the “next cliche” from afar, but to actually, proactively enter the life of that person and take them by the hand and drag them across.
    Nothing succeeds like success!…. I am amazed by Tony Robbins’ handling of seemingly intractable examples of “NO HOPE”.
    But the inducted mind-set of my formative years has so far eluded the “crossing over”. However, hope, Oli, springs eternal!

    • Oli Hille says:

      Hi Tell.

      Thank you for your comments. I appreciate the experience and wisdom you bring!

      My personal view is we need to take the hand we are dealt and make the absolute most of it. I see too many people who are reactive rather than proactive – and it is my experience and view that if we put our mind to it most of us can achieve far more than we give ourselves credit for.

      I really hope you critique my book when it comes out – I would value your feedback.

      Thanks again

      Oli :)

  • Dorte says:

    Oli, that is beautiful and oh, so true.

    It is the same traps that we all fall in – for Gods sake, let´s learn from the people that has been there and done that instead of keep adding to the wasted lives.

    Life is so precious – each and every day. I am gonna live mine in full every day.

    Again: Thanks for the reminder – a very beautiful and important post

    • Oli Hille says:

      Thank you Dorte, I am so glad you enjoyed my post.

      We all need to remember to live each day to the full.

      Oli

  • michael says:

    This is awesome Oli, it’s a great reminder of how precious time is and how important it is to go for your dreams. Thank you
    :)

  • Mohamed says:

    Thank you Oli for these points, they have really value to me and i would like to add here:

    I think we all here in this life to pray for god, because god created us to pray for him. when i say pray, it inlcudes many things. beside the spiritual pray that we perform every day, we also pray to him as we work, marry,children, eat, drink and travel etc……

    So if you perform these prays well and, god starts to help you to achieve your drems, i am saying that ok wait god to brings the dream to you in golden plate but you have to pursue your drems and by anyhow it will comes true but if you have prayed to god.

    Thanks

    • Oli Hille says:

      Thank you Mohamed – I absolutely agree with you!

      Oli :)

  • jewel fitila says:

    i really love this Oli

  • juliet says:

    Hi Oli..I am currently starting to live my life all over again, a transformation stage..as in starting from scratch. The thing with me is..I am coward by nature. I reached my middle age by being so afraid to take chances. I read lots of self-help books, magazine articles, attended several seminars..I agree and believe and trust all those writers ,speakers and life coaches..but when fear strikes, I’m back in my comfort zone. I just love to write in my FB wall, to inspire others..but I don’t practice what I advice them..but when I read this post/article about your grandma, it lifted my heart and spirit! You are God’s messenger for souls like mine..thank you for sharing your grandmother’s beautiful and well-lived life, and thank you for putting in words, inspiring enough, the lessons you are trying to imply in that article, and those are: life is a journey so we must live each moment and to strive hard to reach what we really want–love–need to do to make us complete without sacrificing the precious time with the people we love and the time for our very own self by creating a smart lifestyle that will satisfy our desires, thus, be able to live our life fully like your grandma. Thank you wouldn’t be enough, for you have become the key for me to have the guts to start changing my life now–for the better!

    • Oli Hille says:

      Juliet, I am humbled by your honesty, and I am more than delighted that this post has lifted your spirits. I am sure you will move forward to great success and if I can be of some help, it would be an honor.

      Oli :)

  • Adrian McManus says:

    Oli I love what you wrote about your grandmother. I believe she is right , in life we take wrong paths at times and find ourselves in terrible situations, it is better to try to forgive and let the anger out of your body, “anger can only destroy”. Sometimes negative people can cause nice people “Misery”. Some of us can block out pain , and some of us can’t. I however believe before we die, we should some how voice what has bothered us in life, maybe it not a good idea to wait until its time to go. Its better to keep the faith and believe and search for that special time to let out your feelings and your story of your life , so the “thruth shall set you free”.

    • Oli Hille says:

      Thank you Adrian. I appreciate your thoughts on this.

      Oli :)

  • Shannon says:

    LOVE it! the 9 regrets are awesome! Totally sharing this with my team! Thanks for sharing!

  • Sandy says:

    Talking of regrets, Oli, I have made a lot, mostly of what I couldn’t do. But taking the nine regrets into consideration and carefully digesting it, I have come to realise that those regrets could have prevented. From now onwards, I would be void of regrets. Thanks.

    • Oli Hille says:

      Hey Sandy that is awesome to hear. I totally believe you will achieve that!

      Oli :)

  • Dirk Smit says:

    Thanks Oli for you ebook Lifestyle Guide. For me it’s helpfull to reorganize my relationship with my partner (we seperated) , my carreer and the things I love to do.
    I’m still working things out.
    Thanks!

    • Oli Hille says:

      Hi Dirk

      I am delighted that my Guide was helpful for you!

      Oli :)

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